Self Pity is more crippling than fear it can give you a false sense that it is ok not to try hard in life, that you had a rough life therefore you are entitled to do nothing and become nothing. Fear at least means you are doing something that causes you to stumble upon the feeling. Self Pity is a hole that we dig for ourselves, it is the easiest excuse and the best way out of having enough self respect to get up and chase what we can become. We all could make up a great reason to allow ourselves to feel self pity. Whether it is as simple as someone doesn’t like you, you were diagnosed an illness, your home life is a mess, you aren’t where you wanted to be in life, you hate yourself, someone said something hurtful or you see your own shortcomings. I don’t care the reason, we all have a choice in life, to accept our limitations and turn them into self pity or look at those same limitations and say I will not have you labeling my life and capabilities.
What is the best way to avoid the suffocating thoughts and feelings of self pity? Being thankful. I know this sounds a lot like an optimistic rose colored glasses world, but it is true. When you are thankful for the people, things and feelings that are good in your life it gives you a lot less time to think about all the bad things going on. I am not an optimistic person by nature, my upbringing taught me to be very cynical and believe the worst about everything. I am happy to say that with many years of practice I have slowly become better at seeing the glass half full. I don’t expect people to believe the best, think the best, hope for the best and blindly go into life with optimism, it is healthy to have a balance. My balance is this: “Hope for the best and plan for the worst.” In my past job I had to have street smarts while working as a Security Supervisor for a convention center. I wanted great interactions with others but I was running scenarios through my mind what I was going to do if they were to attack me, hurt someone else, etc. The scenarios were endless. This phrase has stuck with me for years. Anything that happens in life you can plan for, hope for, have options, become adaptable and overcome. Change your thinking, even the smallest step of being thankful for one thing a day will change your outlook on life. Get out of self pity and step into being thankful. I know with a lot of practice you can become a positive thinker and therefore a happy person who is no longer a victim to self pity.
Today I am thankful for:
My husband, my family, my two dogs, vehicles that are in great working condition, our business, longer days, fresh grass in our backyard, warmer days for going on adventures, a gym that is less than a mile away, books, planning a trip to Hawaii, food in our house, a roof over my head, good health, lavender essential oil (even the smallest things make me extremely happy) a bird’s nest in our front yard (every morning I wake up to baby birds chirping) a lifestyle that I created against all odds (I changed my relationships, where I lived, my job, etc.) Now I am living a life that is continuously making me fulfilled, happy, healthy and for the first time in my life excited to wake up each day with a new passion and zest for life!!!