January 30th, 2018
It would have been easy to title this post as “My Husband” but he is so much more than a spouse to me. He is my partner, teammate, husband, love of my life, friend, someone that brings out the best in me, makes me laugh on a daily basis, my intellectual match, the most adventurous and determined person that I know. This might seem to get a little sappy but I do believe that anyone that wants to get married should look for some of the following things to truly find your partner for life.
Core Values: My husband and myself share our basic core values, our beliefs, political views and the way we live our daily lives with joy, excellence and determination.
Respect: It is imperative that spouses have equal respect for one another. When you are unable to hold each other in high regard and with pride then how that be reflected ten years down the road when you treat each other poorly because you really just don’t care? Make sure you marry someone that you are proud of and not someone that would be prefect if you just do a little tweaking, that will set yourself and your spouse up for failure.
Love: I know this sounds so obvious but it can tend to be overlooked at times. Marry someone you are crazy about, not someone you can’t live without but someone that improves your daily living. Don’t marry out of desperation or dependency but out of love, admiration and knowing that together you are a stronger and better force than separately.
Common Interests: This was a slam dunk for my husband and myself. We love hard work, business, mountain biking, running, shooting, camping, fishing, hiking, hitting the gym, spending time with family, building, projects, helping others, traveling and really doing anything adventurous, hard and extreme.
Differences: The reason I mention differences is that we each need to uphold our individuality. We have each had someone in our life that has changed depending on the person they were dating or married to. I’ve known people that changed their beliefs, the way they dressed, the foods they ate and even stopped loving the things that brought their life joy and passion just to mold into the person that they were with. Codependency is lethal to any relationship. Never give up yourself to fit someone else’s expectations of you. Yes there will be times in every relationship the you debate and compromise but never ever give up on who you truly are. You do this world no good if fit a cookie cutter mold as apposed to the incredible, unique, individual person that you are born to be. Can you imagine if Abraham Lincoln gave in to his wife’s lifestyle? We would have not had slavery abolished as soon as we did. His wife’s family were all plantation owners and they had many slaves, because President Lincoln knew who he was, stayed true to his heart and followed through with what he knew was right our country was able to rid this world of a hideous and despicable injustice. You can see how crucial it is to be yourself and never lose your identity in a relationship. You spouse is meant to bring out those great differences in you and support you no matter what.
Work Ethic: My husband and I have two businesses together. We love all the people we are able to work with and serve in our community. There is a great deal of our heart and soul in each business and even a little bit of blood, sweat and tears to go along with that. Quitting is not in our vocabulary, when we hit a road block in business we brainstorm for days or even weeks until we come up with solutions. There is always a plan B for us in business but we don’t consider it fully until plan A has been worked on to it’s fullest extent.
Craig, thank you for being a good, strong, smart, kind, loving, intelligent, active, fun, passionate, determined, outgoing, grounded, encouraging, wild, adventurous, creative, brilliant, stubborn and a one of a kind man of my dreams. You improve my life daily. Thank you for all the laughs, the road trips, the crazy camping adventures in sub zero weather, the shoulder to cry on and the love that you show me everyday in my best and at my very worst.
I close this post by saying that not everyone wants marriage and I don’t believe that each person was born to get married. So if that is you then I encourage you to build yourself and leave this world with a great impact. Each of us is enough just being ourselves and leaving others and the world better than we found it. You don’t have to feel pressured to be married even when many others associate marriage as being whole. What does make a marriage great is two whole people that build each other up and work well together but still have their own identity. No man and no woman is worth you giving up on yourself and only a coward would ask you to be anything less than your greatest. Your partner and teammate should always support, encourage, challenge, love and cheer you on. Marriage is not 50-50 it is 100% and 100% day in and day out. If you ever find yourself in a relationship that there is any form of abuse (physical, sexual, mental or emotional) I employ you, get out now! It does not go away and it does not get better. You deserve only the best from this life. If you are in a relationship that you are put down or threatened and forced to dim your light, get out now. We are all meant to be treated with respect, love, kindness, equality and understanding. Don’t settle for anything other than what you know is the best! Are you in a toxic relationship? If so are you ready to live with the consequences of your decision or are you going to empower yourself to take control of your future? If you are in a heathy and happy relationship, what are you doing today to improve your tomorrows? What do you find to be key in a long lasting marriage?